SOL #31 The Top of the Hill

Flat road tires me some but it is the hill in front of me that daunts me. As I get closer, the dread in my stomach grows heavier.  I can turn around now and enjoy the flat road but I want to get to the other side.  I'm just not looking forward to the discomfort and sweat.
Here it is. The bottom of the hill.  I dig my heels down and feel the strength in my quads.  I'm doing it. Wow. I'm stronger than I thought. I push on. I'm going to do it,
Whew. The incline grows steeper. I'm out of my seat now and pushing hard.  Feeling the burn up through my legs I tighten my abs and glutes and push on.  The pedals fight back and the wheels move less smoothly.  Doubt creeps in.  If I turn now, I could coast back home.
The top of the hill is closer now than the bottom.  I should be able to do this. I am barely moving now. It takes everything in me to push one pedal down. I can pull over and lay down in the grass.  One more push. One more push. The top of the hill creeps closer.  One more push. One more push. Loathing and disgust drip with the sweat. But it's one more push. One more push.

SOL #30 Slice of Sunny Spring Saturday

The errands are done and I'm returning home.  One text from one son's friend, a returned call to the other son's friend, plus a quick recruitment of some other neighbors and an impromptu, old fashioned playdate has begun. The back door flys open and closed as more and more weapons resurrect from the basement to supply the battle that has ensued in the back yard.  Armored warriors hang from the base as fighters fly in on the swing. Swords and light sabers lash through the air as pistols and lasers "Pew! Pew! Pew!"
 Little high pitched voices narrate and revise the show that I watch from the kitchen window.
"Im coming to help!"
"Back to the base"
They are playing "Fortnight" the same way my brothers and I played "Star Wars." My mind flips back to the summers of the eighties and forwards to the approaching long days of my boys magical summer.  Childhood is sweet.

SOL #29 The Friday Commute

It's Friday.  No meat.
We had pizza and Italian already this week. 
I could go for a Friday Fish Fry.
I could pick something up
Costco
Supermarket?
Maybe just go out. 
Who would have Fish and chips?
Ooo Flanigans.
That might be too long a wait with the kids.
Red Lobster!!!
Sean loves shrimp on a skewer."Hey, meet us at Red Lobster. Because I don't want Italian again."
Ring
Yes!!!
"Hey meet me at that other place.  My brother wants to take the boys to the movies.  I don't care what they eat.  So what they ate pizza twice already this week."
Yippee!! 

SOL 28 Writer's Garden

"I'm done!"
The dreaded words in a writer's workshop. 

Let's talk about the journey. 
Let's celebrate the growth.
Let's find the parts of the process that you took a hot air balloon ride right over.
Let's get down amongst the weeds and find the flowers and gems.
Let's maybe take a different path than what you first chose.
Let's fertilize this part.
Let's spruce this up a bit.
Let's get rid of the brambles over here.
Let's sit a while and enjoy the view from here.
Here the grass is soft and green and I can float right up to the clouds.
Let's stay a bit more.
Ahhhh!
Let's discover more.

SOL #27 Oprah's On

I miss Oprah. 
I use to spend every day with her.  Somedays we laughed and were silly.  Somedays we got into some serious stuff.  She was the perfect person to spend my after school/ work time with.  My roommate once came into the apartment to tell me something and I hushed quickly, "Oprah and I are talking." She really got me and she made me think in different ways. She validated me. What Would Oprah Do?
There hasn't been a show like that again. 
Not that I would even have the 4:00 - 5:00 time to even watch tv. 
Maybe I miss the wasting time that I use to have. 
Or maybe I still waste time in different ways.  Instead of flipping channels, I'm flipping facebook statuses.
No.
I miss Oprah.

SOL #26 Loving the Trenches

I like being a classroom teacher.  Some of my colleagues have left the classroom to specialize in one area. "C'mon! No report cards.  No parent-teacher nonsense You get to teach one subject and get really good at that subject."

But the thing is, I don't teach subjects.  I teach little humans. I enjoy all the areas we explore together.  I get to see their strengths and help build the bridges across those murky waters.  Yes, there is the parent-teacher nonsense but that comes with the privilege to spend my days with their people. Plus, it always makes for a good story later.
I like being home base.  I love knowing my kids.
I am in the trenches, but I don't want to be anywhere else.

SOL #25 Tired

Tired
Bone Tired
Put my head on the table Tired
Another cup of coffee Tired
Blinking hard dried eyes Tired
Eating junk food just because Tired
Headache tired
Grouchy Tired
Everybody just be quiet Tired
Can't wash my makeup off Tired
Done Tired
Tired

SOL #24 Reeling Out the Line

"Put down your phone," I told myself "and take it all in." My little babies are becoming slowly more independent.  It is the little things that they can do for themselves.  Liam finally learned to swing high on the swings today.  Sean pushed those little legs round and round on his bike, up the hill that separates us from the school and the playground. And then, I was able to sit and watch.  Liam made it across the monkey bars and Sean climbed to the top of the playscape. All I had to do was sit and watch.
"Yes. I see.  You did it! Wow! I see you! I am so proud of you."
Little by little, they are conquering the world.  I get to witness these accomplishments as I slowly let go. Like a flyer, I slowly release my string and watch the wind catch my beautiful, soaring kites.
Facebook memories make me miss the chubby babies that clung to me. I clung back as we learned the new world of family together.  I sometimes want to go back to those days but I remember the isolation and tether to the home.
Now we experience a bit of freedom both together and apart.  Our areas are increasing. My boys explore their perimeters as I watch from the center.  I let out a little more line knowing there is still time to reel back my kites away from the wind and bring them home.

SOL #23 Laser Mom

Tonight I played laser tag!!  What a blast! Ha! I showed no mercy to those seven and eight-year-old boys and girls.  Yup! I was the crazy mom that joined in.  My husband and I were the only volunteers to suit up.  My boys insisted I be on their team.  We made Daddy join the other team.  My team won the first game and the other team won the second game.  I did, however, have the second highest score, which was higher than my husband', so that is really the only thing that counts.

"You got me!!!!  Aghh! 

One little boy kept telling me he found a new base for us to hide in.  

Two evil girls with black light teeth kept chasing me and delighted in shooting me.  

There were times I was surrounded by small people with vengeance in their eyes but smiles on their faces.  All were yelling lines they must have learned from TV or movies.

"FBI!!  We're coming in!"

"Cover me!"

"Retreat! Retreat!!"

The room was hot, smelled like kitty litter and I was sweating my Mommy butt off but we had the best time.

Pepsi and ice cream cake never was so refreshing.


Tomorrow..... Dodge ball!!!!

SOL #22 Inside Out

So today I met my student observer.  It has been a while since I had a student teacher or observer.  It is so weird having someone watch you all day.  I caught myself.  Am I being natural enough? Wow, I should have planned that better.  

Knowing that she was there made me a better teacher.  Not that I was showing off or anything but I definitely was more reflective.  I was forever monitoring the effectiveness of my planning, my take aways.  What would I do differently the next day or next year?  And now I'm writing about my reflectiveness.  I'm so inward thinking I'm about to turn inside out.
Hmm.  Whenever my boys are getting changed and putting their dirty laundry in the hamper, I yell, "Outside Out!" to remind them to turn out their clothes.  Outside Out. That is the kind of person I don't want to be.  I don't want my outside to be the only thing that is showing.  I want to be the kind of person who wears their heart on their sleeve but it is the sleeve that is turned inside out.

SOL #21 The Quietest Part of My Day

How lovely!
Some time for myself.
I sit here with my thoughts in peace and quiet.
 I've been running all day and I finally have some time to relax and just be with the still of my brain. My brain has been a constant motion of decisions and questions and requestioning.
This peace is such a delight.  A reprieve from the constant barrage of noise and demands. What a gift just to be still and anonymous.  Nobody here needs my approval or food or supplies or butt wiping.
It is just me.
Quiet.
Relaxed.
Me time.

Gotta go they just called me in for my dental cleaning.

SOL #20 Old Math New Math

For some reason, I was thinking of my seventh-grade math teacher, Dr Bird, on my way home from work.  I did not like his class nor did I like him.  He was a big, socially awkward, age-spotted bald man.  His lips slapped together as he lectured math.  I was in accelerated math at that time but I found him dry. He found me irritating.  I soon found myself out of accelerated math.
Math is one of my favorite things to teach now.  It is exploration and storytelling, finding patterns and making connections.  Today we made models of different groups of sea turtles in order to determine which fraction of the groups of sea turtles were more affected by pollution. Then we played math games.  My stomach turns when I hear, "I don't get this new math." It is the same math, same properties.  We just want mathematicians to be able to discover.
I wish I had the opportunity to discover.  Maybe Dr Bird would have discovered I wasn't so irritating.

SOL #19 Just A Volunteer From The Audience

Oh no.  All their little faces are looking at me.  OK OK.  I'm going.  I have just volunteered to be in the Brain Challenge Assembly! I wade through the pretzel legged sea of students to the front of the cafetorium. I have already embarrassed myself by falling on my back in the Tug a War.  I pray that I know the answers. 
Man! That fifth-grade teacher sure does know her trivia.  She is going to be hard to beat.
Oh missed that one. 
Is my buzzer working?
Of forget buzzing in for that question. Lord knows I can't spell.
"Potomac!" Fifth Grade Teach yells.
Poop! I should have known that one.
"What hot cereal is also known as porridge?" 
Buzz!!!!
It's me!
Oatmeal for sure? Right? But wait I think. It could be farina. Cream of wheat?  Oh I can't lose on a question about cereal.
Oatmeal!
Correct!!!!!
I don't know Potomac but I know Oatmeal.
Why is my heart beating so fast?  This is crazy!!!
Buzz!!!!
Me Again
"Washington."
Washington....?"
"Washington DC!"
YES
Buzz!!!! 
Me again!!!
"District of Columbia!"
RED TEAM WINS!!!
Thank goodness.  I only have to walk back across the floor without falling and I'm safe.

SOL #18 By George, I Think She's Got It

Today some of my writers were working on #DWHabit, some were working on research for a project and some were working on their independent writing.  I sat with Lillian today and we looked through her quick writes.  I noted that she wrote some really nice summaries of some nice moments that could become stories.  I referred to the post by Beth Moore to help me help Lillian figure out what her next steps were.  Lillian decided that she would like to add more dialogue and inner monologue after she looked at some of my posts.  After she read my Follow that Weiner post she said "Oh. I can make the characters talk." We tied her writing back to the reading strategies that we have been studying.  We know that readers learn about characters by what they say and think.  As writers, we need to give our readers that same opportunity. We later shared with the class what she was working on.  When she shared she was using my story Follow That Weiner as her mentor text. Alex said, "That one is my favorite too."   Holy cow!!  I'm a mentor author!!
Other students shared some of their notebooks. After all these years of teaching, I now see the importance of the notebook.  Yes, it is a place for gathering ideas and for writing daily. More importantly, it was something to bring to your writing community.  Students shared their entries but then they needed to tell us what next.  Where did they think this idea could go?  What project do they think they can make?  Classmates offered suggestions about what it needed.  One student is easily able to write clearly, creatively and lengthy notebook entries.  When he shared his entry, the class enjoyed his humor and format.  When we posed the, "What next?" question, he realized that this writing wasn't finished, it was just the beginning.
Being part of this challenge has been such a powerful learning experience for me. I see the power of the notebook, the beauty of writing daily and wonder of a writing community.  Thank you Slice of Life!!!

SOL #17 Thank God I get to Tuck Him in at Night

And I tuck him in
and he snuggles his body to mine
snuggles up close and
I breathe in
I'm home
this is my greatest gift
and my greatest creation
Every time his soft, velvet, silky hands close on mine,
I'm surprised.
one more hug is never enough
I drink my child in and
Thank You God
my greatest gift
my greatest creation.

SOL #16 Because I Said So

 

 I was thinking about some discourse I had about religion.  There were times in my life when I practiced my faith but it wasn't my choice.  My parents dictated that I would go to mass, say my prayers and learn my catechism.  I realize now that if my parents had not made the choice for me that I would not have the ability to choose to practice today.  By not letting children have a choice, we give them the opportunity to choose later on in life.
      When it comes to the music program that our children are so lucky to have, I tell them they do not have a choice. I say we do not give them the choice to not learn math. We would not take seriously if a child said, "I don't want to learn to read and write." I don't understand why some adults comply when children want to quit the band or orchestra. I get that you know your child will not probably make a living as a musician.  However, I will remind everyone, I do not make my living figuring chemistry formulas. If we let them not take an instrument now we take away their choice later to enjoy playing or having the ability to choose a musical path.
     I've always been an educator that has given the children choices in learning.  The children choose what books to read.  They choose what they want to write.  They choose their own research projects.  I now see the value in retaining the choice from students.  Sometimes we need to remember that we are the adults and we do know what is best.  We are not letting them choose now so they can choose later.
   

SOL #15 A Slice of Lent

In preparing for my son's first Holy Communion and guiding his classmates as their teacher, I have been more conscious of Lent.  I learned about St Ignatius's examining conscience prayer.  It is similar to the prayers that my boys and I say at night.  We think about the best part of our day and then we thank God for that good part of our day.  

This week's news about airplanes crashing and then yesterday's mass murder in New Zealand hit too close to my heart. My parents came home on Monday from Australia and New Zealand.  I thanked God for my parents to be home safe.  I thanked God that I don't have to worry.  

Part of the prayer is to reflect on my shortcomings.  I didn't pray for the lives lost.  I didn't think of the families broken.  I thought of me and my family.  God, bring me closer to your grace.

SOL #14 The Evil Witch

Once upon a time, in an old craggy house on a cold and windy mountain, there lived an evil, ugly witch named Mommy.  All the children in the land were terrified of her.  "Oh no!" the little children cried. "It is the mean witch Mommy.  She will make us put pajamas on before we can eat our fresh, baked cookies."  The children ran and hid, tears streaming down their cute, adorable, little cheeks. One brave, little tike called over his shoulder. "You are the worst! You make us wear pajamas all the time!"
"Hee Hee Hee Hee" cackled the mean, old witch Mommy. She rubbed her hands together and crowed, "You can run but you can't hide from me, little boy" I will find you and you will put on pajamas!!"
She flew towards the boy and grabbed him by his teeny but stinky toes!!  "There is no use fighting little boy! Soon you will find yourself cloaked in pajamas and eating fresh, baked cookies."
The little boy fought with all his might. He kicked. He wriggled. He screamed. Alas, it was all for naught for soon the boy was in fact robed in fuzzy fleece.  Sniffling, all the boy's dreams were shattered.  The other village children looked at him with mournful eyes.  They did not want to fall into the evil, witch Mommy's clutches.
Every night since, as they gather around their fresh, baked cookies, the village children all tell the story of the boy who lost to the witch.

SOL #13 Refresh.... Click...

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2 likes still 2 likes.  Lets see what else is going on.  Weird puppy meme, another bad singing video, her new haircut.  40 likes? Ten hearts in comments?
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Still 2 likes.
I knew mom shouldn't have posted it.  Nobody cares that my poem got chosen for the magazine. At least I'm not the one posting my stupid haircut.  "OMG!!  YOU LOOK FANTASTIC!!!" 43 likes?!
It looks exactly the same as yesterday.
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oh 3 likes and a new comment.
Oh Jeez.  Grandma! 
"That's my baby girl! I knew my little bookworm would become famous someday!"
Hardly famous, Grandma.  Just 3 likes and Grandmas don't count.
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I guess it was kind of a big deal that my poem was chosen for the high school magazine.  I don't think too many middle schoolers get chosen.
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Oh good. Another kissy emoji for DuckFace's stupid haircut.
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SOL #12 A Moment in the Grey

"Huh? What?"
She got caught again in her own world.  She was happier there.  She felt like a cartoon character caught by the back of her collar and whooshed back into this other grey dimension.
She was in a greener place, splashed with movement and color.
Now she was back in the cold and boring, answering a question that she answered in her head at least twenty minutes ago.  Why should she stay here to wait for the pretty Dum Dums? Sure she could have answered the question and gotten the kind smile from the teacher. But all she got was the pursed lips scolding her for not paying attention.  How did Old Mrs Frog Face get the lipstick inside the wrinkles on her lips?
She crunched up her paper and put her head down.  Why even bother showing that she had gotten the answer forever ago?  Frog Face was only interested in slow brained, pretty girls that followed her every single direction.